User talk:Demuerto
Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read the Deletion FAQ for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback. Jay Ten (talk) 16:04, October 10, 2015 (UTC) SoPretentious 06:25, October 13, 2015 (UTC) Hey I think you are coolThe Nightmare Child (talk) 23:56, October 13, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:04, October 14, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story Your story was deleted for being a reuploaded page. As for the post being taken down, looking at your contributions, you've never posted that story to the Writer's Workshop. The page was removed for being below or quality standards and not due to any content issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:47, October 14, 2015 (UTC) Blocked For reuploading your deleted page again after being warned (twice), you have been blocked for one day. Please pay attention to messages left on your talk page. | creepypasta.wikia.com | I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! | [[User:Underscorre|'Under']][[User talk:Underscorre|'Scorre']] }} 17:56, October 14, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story Mikemacdee: "Feels rushed, undeveloped, and pretty lackluster overall. At a later date you could probably revisit this, rewrite it from scratch, and expand the idea into something with more substance and actual scares, but in its present state it just doesn't work." Shadowswimmer: "I like the concept (there are some grammatical issues...you use 'their' several times when it should be a singular possesive like 'his'). Unfortunately there are some big logic flaws that kind of ruin the whole thing for me: first, it seems that whatever number is being called is not this individual's wife. This would indicate that the man does not know his wife's phone number, since he has dialed it many times throughout the story. Secondly, the ending of him being in the woods indicates he is using a cell phone...so how is the number wrong? Did the wife, or possibly the doctor, change it? This seems unlikely since the doctor goes to the trouble to then call the wife at the end and let her know that everything is fine...indicating they are not in collusion to kill the husband. All of this also begs the question why there is so much time between the calls if the husband thinks something is wrong. Why he can't simply leave (ostensibly he drove himself there)? Why doesn't the narrator doesn't call the police after the messages get weird? Why does it always go straight to voicemail? The first couple messages are pretty normal...why wouldn't the narrator pick up the phone and tell the person they had the wrong number? I dunno, all this stuff just sort of ruins it for me." Both summed it up pretty nicely. Additionally there were capitalization (improperly capitalized words), punctuation (apostrophes missing from possessive words, commas missing from pauses in sentence flow, etc.) and story issues (see comments above) that resulted in the story feeling rushed and lacking in description/focus. I'd strongly suggest posting to the writer's workshop first next time and waiting for feedback. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:36, November 4, 2015 (UTC) :"I met a really nice guy today who says Dr. Arnold also told their (his "it should be a singular possesive like 'his'") wife this is a great place for men", Sentences in parentheticals need proper capitalization and punctuation. (Even asides are treated as complete sentences.) Please carefully review your story as these issues are very noticeable and the plot holes that shadow swimmer pointed out really detract from the story. As for the message on your talk page, that's Underscorre's signature. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:34, November 5, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:07, November 18, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story There were quite a lot of issues here. Please proof-read your story as I've noticed a pattern of you repeating the same mistakes while making new ones. Starting with the basics, you need to use source mode as this line of coding: " " was present in every line. It makes it difficult to edit when this coding is everywhere. Formatting: ""What did this schmo do anyway?" Vinny asked. .... He looks over at Vinny and said shrugging "I honestly have no idea. Not my business, the boss said take him out, I don't ask questions."" Two speakers should never be on the same paragraph as it muddles who's saying what. Look at other stories and novels for examples. Punctuation: Hyphens missing from words directly impacting each other. "half smoked", "dip shit", "sawed off", etc. Commas missing before dialogue. "said shrugging(,) "I honestly have no idea.", ""Too damn noisy(comma missing)" says", "he replies(comma missing) "Uh, yeah... I'm coming."", "Mike(comma missing) finally reaching the top responds(,/:) "Can we just..."", "they hear a yell(,) "Don't come in here!"", etc. Punctuation issues cont.: Commas missing from sentences where a pause is implied (listed above) "Struggling(,) he reaches for Mike", "With his heart racing(,) he walks over and stands in front of the door.'", ""Look(,) just take my hand and follow me.", etc. Apostrophes missing from possessive words: "best friends head" Capitalization: ""Which one is it?" Asks (asks) Vinny", ""Shit, it's locked." He (he) says", "Same shit there that’s in the light." He (he)says". Improper capitalization: "I.. Gotta (gotta) finish the job." Only capitalize a word after ellipses if it is a proper noun or a new sentence. Wording issues: "the disheveled New York apartment building." Disheveled refers to clothing (typically rumpled, with crinkles), it doesn't make sense to call a building disheveled. "...shot gun that has been makeshift attached with string to the inside." needs a lot of clarification. "Shot gun" should be "shotgun". Awkward wording: "... quit fucking around!" He scream.", "This cry are punctuated by the door slamming behind him.", "His voice noticeably shaken at what he witness just seconds before.", etc. Wording issues cont.: You shift from present tense to past and back to present multiple times throughout the story. "Vinny grabs the knob and whips open the door." (present) to "Vinny was gone, as though he was inhaled by the adjoining room." (past) "Mike slowly turns the knob and pulls until the door is ajar." (present) "The thug turned around" (past) You need to be uniform in your tenses. You're=you are, your=possessive. "Jesus, your right." There are a lot of other issues here. I'm sorry, but this story feels incredibly rushed and hastily written. When looking over to write out the issues, I came across a dozen more issues that I had looked over the first time. I'm sorry, but there are a lot of issues here. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:56, November 18, 2015 (UTC) :I'm going to suggest looking over what I wrote above, as you haven't fixed a lot of the issues that I've pointed out earlier. I gave examples, but those aren't the only instances in the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:44, November 19, 2015 (UTC) ::^ ::As well as: "There are a lot of other issues here. I'm sorry, but this story feels incredibly rushed and hastily written. When looking over to write out the issues, I came across a dozen more issues that I had looked over the first time." EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:43, November 20, 2015 (UTC) :::That was the post I read. (I closed your other one stating that) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 06:17, November 20, 2015 (UTC) Question How did you want me to write my story backwards, because I'm kind of stuck on that. Kind Regards Phil Raptor --Phil Raptor (talk) 01:22, February 7, 2016 (UTC) Story I moved your story to the workshop - http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:538694 The showcase is for finished and accepted stories. Jay Ten (talk) 00:50, May 13, 2016 (UTC) Writer's Workshop Please read the forum rules for the writer's workshop as we don't allow multiple posts for the same story/revisions. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:08, May 13, 2016 (UTC) :Now you're banned for one day, I hope you use this time to read those rules as further infractions will result in a lengthier ban. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:18, May 27, 2016 (UTC) The purpose is to not encourage multiple re-postings and to get authors who are proactive with their stories that are willing to work on them while they're on the front page of the listing and getting focus. For example, one of your stories got feedback on the 24th pointing out a number of issues you still haven't corrected and instead chose to upload a story that was previously on the board. If a story falls off the activity board due to the author not spending the time necessary on it or messaging people and asking them to help review it, I really don't see why we should prevent that from happening as it encourages more active and working authors. A story typically gets bumped up if there is a comment made to it (some people post their revisions in the comments so both can be compared side-by-side) as edits don't bump it up in the feed for the reason you mentioned. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:20, May 28, 2016 (UTC) Re: Contributing That being said, if you're not up to date, I would strongly suggest running anything by the writer's workshop before posting it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:01, June 25, 2016 (UTC) Re: Appeals You make an appeal the same way you made a message on my talk page. You go to the deletion appeal and edit. Make sure that you have a revised copy ready and follow the directions/guidelines on that page. That being said, I would strongly advise looking over your story, making edits, and making sure it's the best it can be. If you believe it's a technical issue, I would go to the community wiki and try to troubleshoot or get technical support. As for a three day ban, our punishment for breaking the same rules multiple times increases with each infraction. As you were were already banned once for reuploading pages ("11:55, 14 October 2015 Underscorre (talk | contribs | block) blocked Demuerto (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day (account creation blocked, cannot edit own talk page) (Reuploading previously deleted page(s)) (unblock | change block)"), the second offense is longer. If done again, the ban will be lengthier than three days. The site runs a lot smoother when users don't repeatedly break the same site rules over and over. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:30, June 29, 2016 (UTC) Curation So in a bid to increase community participation I have decided to put together a blog curating some recent stories that I have enjoyed and thought I'd let you know I included one of yours! Please take a look here and feel free to comment if you like any of the other stories, or for any reason at all really.ChristianWallis (talk) 13:49, August 8, 2016 (UTC)